Who is Jules Humphreys & Why is He Important?
Welcome everybody to this video that I referenced in my interview with LDSPrepper, about how the advent of the smartphone and social media caused a decline of happiness in our society.
This amazing talk by Steven Thomas, who had many major obstacles & tragedies in his life, turned his life around, to be a world champion bodybuilder, entrepreneur and motivational speaker. He is alarmed by the growing suicide rates in the US, and wanted to help give people some tools to be more resilient.
Here's a synopsis of what he covered in his talk, that I encourage all parents and teenagers to watch together:
Grew up poor, at 14 had to work with dad, who as a Christian, quit his job because he refused to work on Sunday, and started a business to clean up crack houses in Mississippi, the poorest state in the US.
Quoted Les Brown who said that we’re either in a storm, coming out of a storm, or going into a storm, but a storm is near.
He asks,...What factors, people, things, thoughts, or influences are determining the level of happiness in your life right now?
He says ...worrying about the future is anxiety, and wollowling in the past is depression.
After finally finishing college, after dropping out twice, he later became a teacher/coach. This is where he met a hardened “boy” named Jules Humphreys, whose father was murdered, and prostitute mother was incarcerated, where he became homeless at just 7-yrs.-old. He ended up on the streets until a lady saw him sleeping under a bridge and took him in, and became his “godmother.”
On Steven’s first day of teaching, he had a discussion with this 19-yr-old “boy,” who was still in the 9th grade. He was able to develop a rapport with him, to a point that, when all of Jules' other teachers didn't want to deal with him, they let him stay in Steven’s class the whole day, and Steven taught him all the subjects.
Steven told Jules he needed to drop out of high school, and helped him enroll into a welding program, where he could learn a trade as a professional welder. Just as Jules was nearing graduation, and feeling good about taking control and improving his life, he was set up by an old girlfriend, and attacked by two male accomplices, and was shot and murdered during the altercation, and his body dumped on the side of the road.
This tragic event, along with his 16-yr-old brother also being killed, and a very close friend commiting suicide, all greatly devastated Steven. He was very vulnerable and shared his constant challenge with anxiety and PTSD, and how we had to take his medication before speaking, and how he sleeps with an 18 lb weighted blanket to help with his anxiety.
He shares a formula, E+R=O, where E stands for an Event, and R is for your Response to that event, and O determines your Outcome (Opportunity).
“We can't control events that happen to us, but we can control how we respond to things we can’t control.”
His tools to help us to do that: His F5 Strategy
F1- Faith What do you believe in (faith)?
F2- Fire Do you have passion (fire), and if so, for what?
F3- Focus How strong is your vision (focus)?
F4- Family Do you have supportive people in your life (family; support system)?
F5- Fear What's holding you back (fear)? Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real
In closing, he shared this quote, and how to use his F5 strategy to deal with easy to recall pains & scars:
“ It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.” -Chuck Palahniuk, Diary
It was then opened up to Q&A. Here are some of the questions that he addressed:
What can parents do to help children feel valued?
How do I stop my daughter from the depression that comes from constant comparison to others?
Do you recommend restrictions on screen time for your children?
How do I get people to catch fire that are bland and emotionless due to their circumstances?
After experiencing trauma, how do you cope with the constant pain in a healthy way, instead of turning to Vices?
What do you do when you’ve fallen off the wagon and start noticing lost progress?
Thanks to Steven Thomas for being vulnerable, and asking the audience to be, as well. And for sharing his amazing story of overcoming obstacles, and helping Jules Humphreys to continue to affect people's lives for good.
Great tips & tools for helping us STAY RESILIENT, and take Life To The MAX!
Max Out